There are times when I just have to sit in the floor and breath.

“A caller reported hearing loud native African congo music and marijuana smoke seeping from their neighbor’s basement. Also a heavy stench of rat. “

One week, Madylin.

Celery makes me want to puke buckets full.

I accidentally said to Zach, “I love you bigger than 4 meatballs”.

I have not been this fucked UP since maybe three millennia. 

blackyogurt:

waffle bong by icantknowhow on Flickr.

hold it

Don’t you lie he squeaked to me all about the steak dinner you fed him! He won’t even eat his bok choy or strawberries these days. 

You can come play with them fine. As long as I don’t throw them away between now and then for fighting bath times. 

I am coming over Tuesday afternoon to play with Cake and Turkey. Well, you know. Drag them out of the corn hut and hold them for a minute. 

Wait a second. I gave him a bit of pork chop and he didn’t even know what to do with it because all you give him is exotic fruits! He’s lucky to have a good friend like me. 

I traced back my rat getting to be the size of an elephant to that time you were watching him and fed him prime rib or something. So thanks for that.

Guess what happened to me. Grilled cream cheese sandwich ++ cheddar dream$.
~ wish u were here ~

They are the size of the universe. 

I wish footage of that instance existed. More than a lot of things. We’ll have to redo it sometime I reckon.

Jeremy’s calves are the size of actual calves is what you meant to say.

No all I wanted to see was video footage records of Forever 21 and you FAILED to do that.

I’m just kidding, it was very well done and made me smile several times!